


Never in my Life

by AMac0218



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 20:17:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11425401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMac0218/pseuds/AMac0218
Summary: Maze overhears a discussion between Lucifer and Chloe, and of course gets in the middle of it





	Never in my Life

**Author's Note:**

> Let it be known that I am terrible at summaries. 
> 
> Also that this is a super short oneshot that I had buzzing around in my head. I'll be doing more winged Lucifer fics eventually, I swear

“Detective, I swear, that has never happened before in my life.”

 Maze looked up from her laptop when the door opened and closed, an eyebrow lifting when she heard the couple enter the apartment she and Chloe shared. Trying to make herself invisible, she pressed herself as hard as she could into the cushions of the couch as the pair rounded into the kitchen.

 “Lucifer, it’s okay, really," she answered.

 “It most certainly is _not_. It’s embarrassing...it’s downright deplorable. I deserved to be sent to Hell for it,” he said, exasperated, his hand going up to his forehead, thumb on one temple, the other fingertips pressed to the opposite one.

 “You’re being dramatic, it’s not that bad.”

 “It is! It is that bad! How can it not be that bad?”

 Chloe shrugged and put her bag on the counter, turning to him as he looked at her like he was a puppy who’d been kicked.

 Something clicked and Maze couldn’t hold back her laughter. She rolled onto her side as she held onto her ribs, legs pulled up as she howled, tears in her eyes. Lucifer and Chloe turned to look at her, surprised she was even there. The Devil scowled and the Detective folded her arms over her chest.

 “Wait...wait...what are we talking about?” she asked. “Are we talking about what I think we’re talking about?”

 “ _We_ aren’t talking about anything, Maze... _Lucifer and I_ were talking and _you_ were eavesdropping.”

 “Uh, I was, yeah,” she nodded, her words making it sound like it wasn’t a problem.

 “Mazikeen, _please_ ,” Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose now.

 “So what were you doing? Hiding from some bad guys? Was her ass pressed up against you too long? Little too much movement? Oh, oh, or was she finally touching you? I told you living with blue balls that long was going to come back and haunt you. Pun intended.”

 “ _Maze! Could you please!_ ” Lucifer said a little louder. There was silence for a full minute and they turned when they all heard Trixie’s bedroom door open. He sighed heavily and slapped his hand across his face and groaned, “Bloody Hell…”

 “Mommy, why is Lucifer yelling? Is he angry?”

 “Yeah, he’s angry because he blew-,”

 “No. No sweetie,” Chloe interrupted Maze quickly, flashing her a warning glare, to which the Demon rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest.

 “Ooh, if looks could kill,” Lucifer smirked. “If you two are going to fight, allow me to get the jello.”

 “Zip it, Lucifer.” she looked at the Devil who did as she told, though he rolled his eyes as well, and scoffed a bit.

 Chloe bent down on a knee and put her hands on Trixie’s arms, giving her a small smile, “Maze is going to read you another story and put you to bed, okay, Monkey?” she asked. She looked at Maze and gave her a 'consider this punishment for eavesdropping' look. “Mommy and Lucifer have to talk.”

 “Oh, sure, force me to do it…Fine, whatever...not like I wanted to listen in on how Lucifer’s famous self control completely went up in smoke just because you two got a little physical.”

 “That is not what happened,” he told her. “How could you even think that of me, Maze? Honestly,” he shook his head as he fiddled with his cuff links. “What do you take me for? Some desperate virgin?” He snorted a laugh. “I’m insulted. The Detective and I were on a stakeout and I happened to sneeze and out popped my wings while we were inside her vehicle….Embarrassing,” he muttered. “Damn things are still new…” He rotated his shoulders and rolled his neck a little to emphasize his point.

 Maze looked at him like he’d spit in her cereal. “That was it? Uck, how boring…” She looked down at Trixie. “C’mon, kid, let’s go find you something to read and get you into bed...though honestly if you stay out here and listen to them it might put you to sleep faster.”

 She reached her hand out and Trixie grabbed on to it eagerly and all but ran to her bedroom, the Demon not picking up her pace at all. When the door closed Lucifer sighed heavily, his head lulling back a bit while Chloe stood and went over to him.

 “A stakeout...and a sneeze...and ‘out popped your wings’?” she quoted as she smirked up at him. “Funny. I thought you didn’t lie.”

 “I don’t, love,” Lucifer looked down at him. “You know that...I do however, bend the truth and it was only a little bent,” he held his index finger and thumb close together. “We _were_ on a stakeout...and then your shift ended and we weren’t...and my wings _did_ make an embarrassing appearance...though I thought I would spear your offspring the story of how I was buried to the hilt inside of you and in the middle of cu-,” she slapped a hand over his mouth, feeling him smirk behind it as he lifted his brows and let them fall.

 “Yeah, you talk like that in front of my daughter _ever_...and I’ll make sure you don’t do _that_ for as long as I live.”

 “Ooh, so mean...so authoritative….I _like_ it,” he said as he moved his mouth away from her hand, his own going to her hips as he pulled her to him, making sure he pressed himself against her. “Maybe we can see how long you can make me _not_ do that,” he said as he leaned down, his mouth brushing over her lips. He nipped at her earlobe, smiling a little more before he nosed at her jawline. "You can use your handcuffs...I promise I won't break out if them...I'll be a good Devil." He pressed his hips against her’s just a little harder, letting her feel what the idea had already done to him.

 Chloe looked at him like he’d spun his head around 360 degrees, surprised that he was hard already after their tryst in the car. Then again he _was_ Lucifer.

 “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she whispered. “Me being in charge..” Chloe ran her fingers through his hair before she wrapped her arms around him, her hands settling against his shoulders. She scraped her nails down the blades, where his scars used to be, over his clothes while at the same time she grinding against him, which caused him to groan and shudder. Huge wings as white as snow and bright as starlight materialized and arched up to the ceiling.

 Lucifer held onto her tightly, completely frozen aside from the slight shaking of his body, his face heating up against the side of Chloe’s neck. She lifted an eyebrow, “Lucifer...did you just…” she pulled back a little and looked down at his pants.

 He sighed through his nose, “Do _not_ …tell anyone about this...especially Maze...or Detective Douche....Ever…The last thing I need is for them to hear about this poor display of control.." He took a moment to get himself together, letting his wings stay out as he took a step away from her, his hands going to the front of his trousers to try and hide what had happened just in case anyone else walked into the room. 

"I'm flattered," she teased as he rolled his eyes and shook his head, still red as a beet. "No, really...first woman to give the Devil blue balls _and_ the first one to make him...," she gestured to him, "...in his pants? I should get an award. Maybe I'll make one.."

"Alright, alright," he huffed as he turned and headed into her bedroom as she giggled behind him.


End file.
